It Must Be Neurological
Many parents would probably agree that their teen’s clothing and music choices are strange at times, but most find ways to deal with these kinds of issues. However, when a teen behaves like Pollyanna one moment and the Wicked Witch of the West the next, and then has the audacity to claim her mood is somehow her parent’s fault, it can be difficult to be diplomatic. Teens can be reckless, self-centered, impulsive, and impatient. It is no wonder an otherwise calm and reasonable parent can lose her cool.
How does a once predictable and well-behaved child turn into an erratic and irritable stranger? Hormones might help to explain mood swings, but adolescent angst is much more complicated than that. Does the developing brain have something to do with a teen’s inexplicable behavior? It must be neurological… right?
The Teen Brain
Some experts point out that neurological studies help explain teen behavior, while others claim a teen’s culture and environment have more to do with it.
Phillip Zoladz, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at Ohio Northern University, explains, “Teens are impulsive and reckless, in part, because much of their behavior is guided by more primitive, emotionally-driven brain regions (e.g. hypothalamus, amygdala). This stems from a less than fully-developed prefrontal cortex which usually governs and regulates this type of behavior. The prefrontal cortex does not fully develop until one’s early to mid 20s, which explains why teens continue to act this way until they are at least out of college.”
Stephen Wallace, an associate research professor and director of the Center for Adolescent Research and Education at Susquehanna University, agrees that changes in neural development can affect behavior. “During adolescence dormant cognitive order gives way to mind-numbing change as the brain literally prunes itself.” This leads to “higher order” thinking skills, such as appraising, predicting, and evaluating. “The only problem is that along with such transformation comes a temporary slighting of the part of the brain responsible for judgment,” he explains.
Some teens — despite their neurology — avoid typical teen turmoil. Therefore, experts have also studied how culture and environment influence adolescent behavior.
Robert Epstein, Ph.D., Senior Research Psychologist at the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology and author of Teen 2.0: Saving Our Children and Families from the Torment of Adolescence (Quill Driver Books, 2010), asserts that the kind of turmoil we see in teens in many Western countries is entirely absent in other cultures around the world. He reports, “New research suggests that teens who are prone to take risks may actually have brains that are more mature in some respects than the brains of more passive teens.”
Epstein describes two social phenomena that encourage adolescent angst. The first is that parents “infantilize teens” (treat teens like young children, no matter how capable they may be). The second is “isolation,” characterized by being isolated from responsible adults and trapped in a bizarre, media-controlled peer world. “The period of life Westerners call ‘adolescence’ is a harmful and unnecessary product of a faulty culture, not of a faulty brain,” Epstein states.
Getting a Grip on Behavior
Stephen Wallace clarifies, “The fact that teen brains may make young people more susceptible to poor decision-making doesn’t mean they are destined to make bad choices.” He explains that parents need to step in to provide judgment when it comes to health and safety issues, but they can facilitate a more collaborative approach otherwise.
Parents should be there to guide. “They need to show their children that there are consequences for their actions,” says Zoladz.
Epstein suggests encouraging independence. “The important thing is to bring teens forward into the adult world as soon as they show readiness in one or more areas.” He instructs parents to offer meaningful responsibilities, by allowing teens to make decisions regarding their education, money, or work. “A parent’s main job is to encourage teens to make important decisions on their own. Yes, sometimes teens will fail, just as adults do. That is how we learn to make better decisions. If you try to protect your teens through control and coercion, you teach them nothing at all — except that you are the enemy.”
TIPS AND TALES
“An honest, frank discussion about behaviors is needed. All teens are different and have to be dealt with in a way that works for them.”
— David Hulton, Staatsburg, NY
“Try to capture moments of empathy as a learning experience to show that the world does not actually revolve around them.”
— Michele Liguori, Hyde Park, NY
“Teens think they have all the answers. One day, they will realize how much their parents know.”
— Deb Wright, Wappingers Falls, NY
Myrna Beth Haskell is the author of “LIONS and TIGERS and TEENS: Expert advice and support for the conscientious parent just like you” (Unlimited Publishing, LLC). Her work has appeared in publications across the U.S. as well as internationally. Learn more at www.myrnahaskell.com.