Not only is the “parenting” part of being a single parent a tough job, but when you add the financial responsibility to the mix, we find that raising kids in our world takes more than most single parents can earn.
Statistically we know that divorce typcially does not make either parent richer and the U.S. Census Bureau reports that approximately 30 percent of parents who are ordered to pay child support do not comply. Consequently, there are a lot of kids who may be financially compromised to the point of poverty, which we also know contributes to them being at risk for engaging in negative behaviors and poor coping skills.
It is more than just a good idea, then, to attend to the financial health of the family — to reduce stress for the parent (helping him or her to be a healthier parent) and to increase the welfare of the child — creating more opportunities for the child’s success. That all sounds well and good, but how do single parents stretch the dollars to get ahead of the game when most of the time they are living hand to mouth? Here are some ideas to get you started:
Take care of the basic necessities first. The first order of business is to take care of food, clothing, and shelter. Shelter expenses are usually non-negotiable, so put the fixed amounts in your budget first and don’t compromise on them. Mortgage/rent, utilities (electricity, gas, water), and any other expenses related to keeping the home secure and comfortable are the first order of business.
Next would be food. Make a list the night before you go to the grocery store for the foodstuffs you will need until the next paycheck arrives. Fresh produce and milk should be the only things you buy in between. Use coupons and go through your favorite store’s weekly sale flyer to plan meals around the discount items.
Finally, clothing is important but is much overrated! Kids always seem to want what their friends have, but many of their friends may not be struggling like you are. So, think in terms of how you can balance your child’s need to feel part of the group without sacrificing your financial security. Visit local thrift stores, co-ops, and garage sales to see what you can find. It’s amazing what parents with excess money will discard to charity that are in perfect condition and even in vogue! Make it a fun outing with the kids, maybe one Saturday afternoon per month, and see what you can find that is almost new and still in style. The kids will have fun and your pocketbook will not suffer.
Reduce non-necessity expenses. Cable and cell phone expenses are usually not considered a necessity, but in this day in age, if you don’t have a cell phone and internet access, it is difficult to compete for resources. Eliminate your land-line if you have a cell phone. Then shop for the best cell phone plans. The pay-as-you-go plans are best if you don’t have good credit or don’t trust yourself to stay within plan limits. If you do have good credit, you may have the luxury of getting a decent price on plans for cell, internet, and cable. Many companies will offer free phones if you sign an extended contract, but be sure to read the fine print and know what the limitations are. Some companies offer good prices on combined cell, internet, and cable service. Partner with a friend and look around since two heads may be better than one in finding the best deals.
Insurance is an expense that we don’t usually think of as a necessity, but in most states it is unlawful to drive without car insurance. So, if you need a car to drive to work, insurance is a must. Again, shop around for the best deal and ask a friend or family member to help you if you feel overwhelmed by the numbers. Be smart about the type of insurance you buy. If your car is only worth $2,000, you don’t need $5,000 worth of collision insurance on your vehicle. In this case, you may want to buy only the required liability insurance (to cover the other car if you are at fault in an accident) and save a bundle in monthly premiums. Also, increasing your deductible (the amount the insurance company wants you to pay before they kick in their share) will reduce your monthly premiums.
Again, shop around for any type of insurance you feel you need for safety and security. This includes life, health, home, etc. Insurance companies are also very competitive, so good deals are out there, but be sure to check out companies with the Better Business Bureau to make sure you are not being defrauded. Go to www.bbb.org to find out how.
Sit down and look at all your expenses and figure out how you can creatively cut them without sacrificing too much of your quality of life. For example, stop newspaper and magazine subscriptions and go to the library or read the news online instead — or save money on haircuts by visiting your local cosmetology school for discount rates. You will be surprised at how the little things can add up to a hundred dollars a month or more.
Expand income. Once you’ve cut all the expenses you can, the only thing left to do is to create more income. Ask for a raise, work overtime or take a part-time job when the other parent is with the children. Consider going back to school and get “certified” in something to raise your income-making ability. There are a thousand ways to make more money if you put your mind to it. Clean houses, deliver newspapers, sell casseroles to working families, have a garage sale, etc. Jay Conrad Levinson wrote a book called 555 Ways to Earn Extra Money, which is available used from Amazon.com for as low as a penny! It’s worth buying to obtain helpful ideas on how to earn more. You might find something that the kids can help you with so that you don’t have to sacrifice valuable time with them. It will be a great way to foster responsibility in them and give them an appreciation for what it takes to earn a living.
The University of Florida Cooperative Extension Service has created a helpful organizational worksheet to help single parents find ways to make ends meet. You can download their publication, “Success and the Single Parent: The Money Crunch,” at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/pdffiles/HE/HE34200.pdf.
Diane Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. She is author of “Solo Parenting: Raising Strong & Happy Families” (1997) and “The Co-Parent Tool Box” (2014). For more information, visit her web site at www.dianedierks.com.